Just another “Second Rate” Blogger!

Don’t you just hate it? When, after you  finish writing (what you thought) was an awesome blog. You scroll down to  the recommended links and it leads you to another blog on the same topic(and I mean exactly the same)! Only funnier, better more readable! Don’t you go, Oh! that’s what I wanted to say. Why didn’t I put it like that? And then, the “awesome” blog that you couldn’t wait to post, doesn’t seem worth posting anymore. I mean why should anyone want to read two blog on the  same thing? It could be anything – “10  reasons I write”, “The politics of education” or “The art of capturing light” – Readers are looking for originality, Right?

But, in this age of WordPress, Blogger, Live Journal, Xanga et al.  Is there anything worth writing that hasn’t already been written about? Sometimes I wonder. If Shakespeare lived in our times, would he be as great? Or would he burn in self-doubt, seeing so much awesome talent out there. Maybe we would never have a “Merchant of Venice” or  a “Romeo and Juliet”. Because once Shakespeare wrote them, let’s say on WordPress.. it  would politely  lead him to Mr x’s “Merchant of Rome”  or Mrs. Y’s ” Henry and Emma”! What would he do? Shakespeare, being Shakespeare, may guffaw at the competition and bravely click the “publish” button. But me? I am no Shakespeare!  I don’t think I am even a “writer”. I just enjoy writing. I hardly know any big words. My punctuation stinks! I  have no knowledge of history or science or religion and not much of a sense of humor! To top it all, I do this in between tasks – from 1:15 – 1:35 p:m between cooking lunch and picking kids from school. Or between 4:30 p:m – 4:55 p:m,  when the kids have finished chewing my mind over, whatever they decide it needs to be chewed over, on that particular day.

My hands tremble. They shake. I agonize over whether I should go ahead and “publish” regardless? Or should I “re-look” at my now “not so awesome ” post. If I do decide to publish. I wonder if I should add the link to the “better” piece (valiantly, acknowledging the better attempt). Or ignore it and just pretend it doesn’t exist. (If others don’t read the competition, they may still think mine is awesome).

Maybe, things would have been different, if I had indeed been a “writer”! If I had the vocabulary, the knowledge and the satire. Then , no matter how many posts had been written about  “Ruminations of an Indian Bride” or “Tennis rackets for sale” (All , incidentally posts by me) I would confidently “Publish” and my admiring followers would read, “like” and “comment”.The elusive “WordPress” gods would dote on me and I would be  “freshly pressed” so often, my intestines would  hang out! But alas!  That was not to be. God, in all his/her (I like to be gender neutral!), didn’t make me one.

That brings me, to my grouse with God. why didn’t she/he make me  his/her chosen one? the one  with the “gift”? The “gift of words”! Why, make me believe I have the talent and then, rub in the fact that others have more. I know God is supposed to be generous. But couldn’t she/he be a little stingy on this one particular skill.  I don’t expect to be a good singer. I don’t even attempt to sing in the bathroom in the fear that the taps may dry up. I  don’t attempt to paint. Cause the lame splotches I produce, would make my 5-year-old look down on me in disdain. I can’t “craft”, I end up pointing the glue gun at my nose rather than whatever requires “glue-gunning” at that moment. The one thing I can do. Or at least thought I could do with some respectability, was “Write”. Mind you, I  am reasonable. I never expected to be  a Vikram Seth, or a Ruskin Bond or even a Chetan Bhagat (All my favorites! by the way) I never expected  to produce a “classic” or a “best seller” or an “even published”. I thought my demand was pretty reasonable. All I wished for, was an audience that would read my “original” thoughts and share my acquired worldly  “insights” from the comfort of their homes. At their leisure, without spending a penny.  But imagine my disappointment, when I realized that I am not even a worth reading blogger. Just an “Also Ran” “Average” “B or B+” ” Second Rate” Blogger .

Is it only me? Or are there times, when you too feel  “second-rate “?

9 Comments Add yours

  1. First, a couple of things..
    If Shakespeare lived in our times, would he be as great? I wonder too.
    Or between 4:30 p:m – 4:55 p:m…. Do your kids follow a time schedule to chew your brain? 🙂

    Are you really writing to cater to the readers here? Because it didn’t seem like that at all, in all the posts I read. And I read plenty here today! I wish you would stop doubting yourself. For whatever its worth, I think you are a pretty good writer.

    (P.S. – This was the post I mentioned in one of my earlier comments.)

    1. hi! just saw your comments .. seems like you have really taken out the time to read my posts.. thanks so much! want o reply to each of your comments in detail.. am in the middle of some mommy tasks right now.. will get back later.. thanks for stopping:)

    2. thanks for calling me a writer.. doubts are normal .. aren’t they? specially when I see the amazing writing everyone does.. moreover apart from the writing I really admire the amount of effort bloggers like you and some others, I have chanced to read put into their blog. The blogs are very “well maintained” ..its takes a lot of dedication and talent to do that..

      1. Yes, they are. I fall prey to them too. That is why I wish we would all just have some more faith in ourselves. It does take effort, I won’t deny. Somewhere you said something about living in our own little shells….

        Reading your blog yesterday, I found an alarming amount of similarity in our thoughts. That prompted me to think, were we separated at birth? Even now, I am more worried about how this sounds, rather than how I felt. There, I just did it again.. doubt myself! Glad to have met you, nonetheless.

      2. ha ha.. glad to meet u too..

    1. thanks for the pingback ritu!

  2. Hi — this is my first time here, and I think your writing is great. Open and honest, and that’s the way writing should be. I am glad to see a friend of mine, AIT, there in your comments.

    It made me so sad when I read that you think you are not a blogger worth reading. You are. Please remember that. I was touched by your thoughtful comment on my Grocery Shopping post, and am glad I stopped for a minute to click over here.

    There is so much competition out there today, that I bet you are right about Shakespeare. I would suggest that you stop comparing your work to others’, as that is a task without end. Writing is our way to fingerprint our thoughts — no one can do it the same as anyone else. Your writing is unique, and you should feel proud to be putting your thoughts out there.

    1. thanks so much for the morale booster.. will try to remember everything you said.. that was written on a bad day.. i have good days too 🙂 am glad you took the time to check my blog.. (life with kids is hectic! i know that :))

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