Why we will never call our daughter a ‘Princess’

It’s not because she isn’t beautiful …

She is lovely! Her eyes sparkle, her cheeks shine. There is pluck in the way she holds her head. A little defiance, that’s infuriating and yet so endearing.  She moves with confidence and poise. Her gaze seems cool, like she doesn’t care whats going on with anyone, but her heart is warm and melts at the smallest trouble of complete strangers. She is grown up and yet innocent, she is shy and still exuberant. She is quiet but also vivacious.  She is  irresistible!

It’s not because she is not special…

She is unique our little girl. She swings between being a reckless child to being a wise woman of the world in moments. Sometimes her tantrums annoy and at other times  her wisdom confounds us. She stands up for what she thinks is right. Like most children, she is fair minded,  willing to give up on something she wants if she thinks it will be unjust for her to take it.

She has a perspective that’s all her own and an opinion on everything. I repeat everything on earth! Our girl means to be heard and be seen. She has a mind and she intends to use it. And no one is going to scare her into silence. Our girl is brave!

So it’s not because she isn’t brave!

The reason we won’t call her a princess, is because

She is not fragile and won’t be hurt by a pea…

She is not dependent on a dress or crystal slippers or the good will of a fairy god mother to look beautiful…

She does not need a castle or a hundred maids or ornaments and baubles to make her happy…

She is not going to wait by a tall tower, her hair hanging low for a prince handsome or otherwise to come and rescue her…

Instead we hope that

Our girl is going to be strong

She is going to write her own destiny

She will make her own fortune (Not necessarily in material terms) and maybe help a poor prince along the way while she is at it 🙂

We hope that

Our girl will need no knight in shining armor.

That she will wield her own sword.

That her education and perseverance will lead her through any darkness that lies in her path.

For darkness there will be, as life is no fairy tale!

But we hope that

Our love will make her fearless even when she is scared

Our belief in her will make her resilient

We promise that

We will stand by her and support her in everything she does

We will protect her fiercely and we will teach her to protect herself

Our girl is not our princess

She is our girl

And she is perfect just as she is…

As a  counselor, I meet kids who are struggling to cope with ‘real’ life. In childhood many of them were told,  they were “princesses” or “princes” and that the world was their kingdom! They grew up believing that life was going to be a fairy tale. So when life threw a few challenges, as it is wont to do!  They felt cheated, betrayed and were caught totally unprepared . Like most parents of my times, I am an indulgent parent too. This post is an attempt on M’s 13 birthday to remind myself of the thin line that exists between raising a confident, secure kid and raising an over- dependent, self obsessed kid with a misplaced sense of entitlement. Happy Birthday ‘M’! May you remain on the right side of that line.


7 Comments Add yours

  1. mohipals says:

    What a beautiful bead of words and an ideal gift of a writer to her daughter…..on her birthday.

  2. sapna sangra says:

    Like always, you’ve touched the heart again! The best gift we can ever give to our daughters is the understanding that life is a reality and a fairy tale.

    1. True sapna😊 not seen you in a long time

  3. Shilpi Banerjee says:

    That’s so well said Sapna – and I agree with you every step.of the way ! Happy birthday to your gorgeous girl and a big God bless !

    1. Thank you shilp! For the good wishes and for visiting us

  4. KayPrism says:

    How lovely! God bless…

    1. Thanks kayprism 😊 great to have you here

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